Here's the scenario:
You have just given birth. You are lying in your hospital bed exhausted from multiple hours of labor and delivery, not to mention 9 months of pregnancy, and you and your husband are finally enjoying the smell, warmth and sight of your brand new baby in your arms. The healthy next step for you would be to feed your child and get some rest. But wait...there are crowds of people waiting for you to call, email or let them in the room. Everyone wants to wish you well and see the newest member of the family. What do you do? Are you excited about the guests, able to go about your business whether you have visitors or not, or are you overwhelmed with the responsibility to entertain and greet each one of your well-intentioned visitors? This scenario continues as you finally are able to leave the hospital and return to your safe haven-home. The phone rings, the doorbell chimes and people are lined up with food and gifts celebrating this new life. Are you thankful but exhausted and wish everyone would just leave you alone...or are you dressed and ready to party? I have my own opinions and many stories from my 3 past experiences, but I would like to hear what your personal experience has been and what your preference is in this matter. Perhaps you have not personally given birth but have witnessed a love one doing so, please feel free share your perspective.
Are You Not Entertained?
13 years ago
7 comments:
It's a tough scenario - I wanted to show off my beautiful baby and bask in everyone's affections toward her...but, yeah...I was exhausted and overwhelmed for a while. Thankful and grateful for all the love and attention, but yes...overwhelmed a bit too.
After my first child, we had more visitors at the hospital than I ever expected! They ended up having to put a sign on the door so that I could get some rest. After my second child, my friend that was with me during the delivery had to leave town the next morning, and forgot to e-mail everyone before she left to let them know that I had delivered. So, by the time everyone found out, it was almost time for me to go home! It was WONDERFUL! I had a few close friends come by, but had lots of time alone with my husband and my son. It was much more relaxing. Although, I was soooo grateful for all of the love with my first, I was much more relaxed and confident with my second because there was no chaos! I think it is different for everyone!
Jennifer (Joy Lockwood's friend)
Well, Elyssa was born during Hurricane Dennis, so we were blessed with LOTS of down time! We really were able to relax and rest and take care of our new baby. With Natalie, things were a little more hectic. We did let family in the waiting room come see her before her first "meal." With more visitors, it was hard to balance when I needed to tell visitors to let me nurse or rest. And, well, when Victoria was born ... there was a whole new level of stress! You can read about that at www.messickmom.blogspot.com.
It sounds like we all had different experiences. After I had Ava, it took a while for me to feel that bond and I didn't really until I got home with her. I was so out of it on pain pills that sometimes, I would sleep through family visitors. I didn't have a problem with visitors because a) there weren't a ton, family and bestest friends and b) people would call first to see if it was a good time and then we were able to be honest and let them know when to come or not too. I like visitors because it reminds me of the people who truly care about me and were genuinely excited about the new addition. It showed me how much they supported my new family and would be there for me. So with that in mind...I'd rather have a ton of visitors than none at all. Once we got home, it was the same. People were considerate. I'm so honest anyway that I didn't mind saying if it wasn't a good time.
thanks for all the comments so far! I hope more will post after reading.
After Jaxson (baby #2) was born, the nurse closed the door to our room and it was just TK, Brantley , the baby and myself in there for about 30 minutes. Long enough for me to hold Jaxson and take a breather from birth to reality- I had a c-section and it was planned so I was completely all there not too tired and that time was great! Of Course people were about to bust the door down- but it was time well needed! I just wish that I would have taken longer! God was so on my side that morning when I wanted to be selfish with my baby- beacause as soon as everyone rushed in our room I became sick from the anesthesia- and everyone rushed right back out. It was embarassing- but God had plans for our family to be together and bond during those moments!
I felt a little overwhelmed with visitors after my first child, Jack, was born. But, we had our twin girls when Jack was 17 months old, so I totally welcomed visitors! I needed all the help I could get at that point! But, I did warn people to call first--a 2 week attempt at breastfeeding twins meant 2 weeks of being pretty much topless! Eeek! All the visitors did stress out my husband a bit, though. After my experiences, if I go visit someone who is sick or who has just had a baby, I always call first, then keep the visit as brief as humanly possible. Great post!
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